A Little Space Before We Decide
There was a period when I wanted desperately to get out of the work I was doing. A legal dispute added to the pressure. During that time, I sold my house, partly to resolve the situation and partly to fund a new direction.
The housing market rose afterward, and I regretted the sale for years. I couldn’t have known exactly what the market would do. But looking back, I believe my urgency narrowed the way I considered my options.
I was fleeing rather than choosing.
When we badly want relief, the first available exit can look like the only one. We may need a little space to ask what else is possible.
In my own life, quiet reflection and study have become ways of finding that space. They give me an opportunity to notice what I’m feeling before deciding what to do with it.
We don’t have to feel perfectly calm before taking action. If a decision can wait, we might take a walk, talk it through with someone we trust, or return to it after a little rest. A pause can be a useful part of moving forward.
For a decision that can safely wait, write down: “What do I want relief from?” and “What do I want to move toward?” Notice whether the answers suggest another option.
Stay with this thought
In an earlier reflection, I used the image of a magnet to describe our inner state. The part of that image I find useful is the reminder to notice what holds our attention and how it influences our choices.
My worry did not determine the housing market. The lesson I take from that experience concerns my own decision-making: I wanted an escape so strongly that I struggled to consider the situation patiently.
These days, I value the steadiness I find in study and reflection. Challenges still arise, but I often feel better able to consider them. That is a personal experience I can share without promising that calm will make everything turn out as we hope.
Even a short pause can become a question: am I ready to choose, or do I need more information, time, or support? Sometimes we have to act quickly. Where we do have room, we can allow ourselves to use it.